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Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Collection of Side Quests
Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece brimming with unexpected absurdity. This article details some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered during my Bohemian adventures. No main storyline spoilers here, just pure, unadulterated quirky fun.
Table of Contents
- Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
- Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
- Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
- Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
- Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
- Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
Želejov, a town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? No money, no instrument, and absolutely no artistic direction.
Image: ensigame.com
Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a quest to aid these musical aspirants. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for the debt-averse bards. After countless errands, their reward? A soul-crushingly boring song about Henry's mundane tasks. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laugh hysterically.
Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
Remember those lute strings? They require crafting from a drunken hunter, Vojtěch, who's currently stuck in a tree after a wolf encounter. The standard rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. But what if you deliver him directly to the tavern?
Image: ensigame.com
That's precisely what I did, hauling Vojtěch through forests and swamps. His reaction? He wasn't pleased. He grumbled, refused further help, and later offered me a subpar view of his shack as compensation.
Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
Image: ensigame.com
The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's demise, are causing trouble in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipated as I found myself matchmaking one Polovtsian with a gypsy woman, then engaging in a drunken singalong. The highlight? A philosophical dog who challenged me to a lake swim (which I miraculously survived).
Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
Image: ensigame.com
After mastering stealth, a single botched heist turned me into Bohemia's most wanted. The evidence? Flashy accessories and lingering smells. The game's attention to detail is astounding.
Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
Image: ensigame.com
Stealing a horse and attempting to sell it to the sleeping gypsy horse trader, Mikolaj, resulted in a hilarious chase scene and a ten-minute wait for Mikolaj to finish his breakfast. Even minor escapades become epic misadventures.
Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
Image: ensigame.com
These are just glimpses into the game's brilliance. Every decision, no matter how small, has far-reaching and often hilarious consequences. The realism and immersion make each playthrough unique and unforgettable. Bohemia awaits!
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